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Man Became Woman, Became Man - Now Advocates Against Sex Changes

by Kilian Melloy
Wednesday Nov 10, 2010
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A millionaire in London who had a sex change in the 1980s decided after seven years that he hated being a woman, so he changed back--and now he’s on a mission to dissuade others from transitioning.

Charles Kane, nee Samantha Kane, nee Sam Hashimi, is happily engaged to a woman now, reported British newspaper the Daily Mail on Nov. 8, but after his first gender transition in 1987 he had a brief engagement to a man. Life as a woman did not agree with Kane--who at the time was known as Samantha Kane--because, the Mail reported, Kane "hated the way female hormones made him moody and emotional. Shopping bored him and sex was a disappointment."

In 2005, Kane went in for the surgeries needed to return her to her former male physiology. He then experienced rejection from the women he attempted to court, until he met fiancée Victoria, who told the paper that, "unlike other men... he truly understands women’s needs."

Kane also addressed this, telling the Daily Mail, "I keep Samantha in a little compartment in my brain, which I occasionally visit when I want to understand how Victoria is feeling." Added Kane, "Before, when I was Sam Hashimi, if a woman tried to talk to me about her emotions she may as well have been speaking to a Martian.

"Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and I’m in the unique position of having taken a very long trip to Venus before returning to Mars," Kane quipped.

"My father Peter is a very open-minded person, and so is my mother, Coral, because my older brother Matthew is openly gay," Victoria told the newspaper. "When I told them about Charles, they went: ’Oh, right, that’s interesting.’ "

Kane attributes his initial desire to transition to the trauma of his first marriage ending and the separation from his children that followed. But now, Kane says of his 24-year-old son, "We get on very well and my son, having been confused by my sex change, is now very accepting of me. He is a great guy and looks just like me . . .  when I was Sam Hashimi."

Kane has decided that transitioning was the wrong choice for him--and he’s convinced that it’s wrong for others, as well. "Based on my own experiences, I believe sex-change operations should not be allowed, and certainly not on the NHS," he told the Daily Mail. "People who think they are a woman trapped in a male body are, in my opinion, completely deluded. I certainly was. I needed counseling, not a sex-change operation."

The website for the Christian Institute noted that in 2004, Kane accused a National Health Service-affiliated physician, Dr. Russell Reid, of persuading him to go through with his first gender reassignment surgery. Three years later, Reid was found guilty of misconduct for prematurely putting patients through gender reassignment surgery.

The site noted that transgendered children are now asking to be allowed to transition before puberty. Medically, the outcome is much more successful if, prior to puberty, a transgendered child is put on the course of hormones that will shape his or her body during adolescence as part of the transition. Many transgendered people describe life-long and deep-seated feelings of belonging to the opposite sex despite their anatomical genders, and those who transition often say that they experience a profound sense of relief when they are finally in the "right" body.

But on occasion individuals who transition express regret, and for this reason a screening process is part of the normal transitioning experience. To buy time, some physicians now recommend that children who express a wish to be the opposite sex be given treatments to delay the onset of puberty.

Kane has concluded that physical transformation is not the answer. He is now seeking funding to make a documentary film, which he would title The Sex Change Delusion.

"In many ways I see myself a victim of the medical profession," Kane told the Daily Mail. "I became a woman. It didn’t work for me. I changed my mind. It’s only a fool that doesn’t change their mind when they know they are wrong. It took tremendous courage to say: ’No, sorry, I will change back.’ "

Readers of the Daily Mail article expressed outrage that Kane would presume that all others wishing to transition would share his confusion on the issue. "You should read Sex and Gender by Richard Stoller who includes the story of a transsexual who nicked hormones from his mother and started taking them and ended up having a female puberty and NEVER regretted it," one comment read. "Given that the test of a true TS is that they feel that way from birth, most of them if given the choice won’t regret it."

"More attention seeking from Charles Kane," another reader declared. "Just because YOUR ’sex change’ was a ’delusion’ doesn’t mean it is for everyone who needs to have ’sex change’ treatment. It wasn’t right for YOU--why waste your life campaigning against treatment that works for the majority of people who have it? If you’re so happy with your renewed life as a man why not just get on with living it instead of trying to sabotage other peoples happiness. Nobody made you have a sex change, start taking responsibility for your own actions instead of blaming the medical professionals and NHS who help legitimately transgendered people."

Wrote another, "My opinion as a transgender waiting for her operation is that my journey is very good for me. I see that in all aspect of life and my friends confirms that, too. No turn around and no regrets. BUT i had done some 4 years of counseling and groups and healthcare hell before i was even allowed to caress the concept of surgery."

Another posted, "I’m just thankful I’m merely an ordinary old transvestite. In my time I’ve passed on the street and in social activities, love dressing and making up to look younger (I suppose that could be regarded as typical female??) and colorful and smelling nice. But I’ve also enjoyed, and still enjoy, being a man. Maybe I’ve found the solution of getting the best of both worlds, and without surgery or a lot of counseling! My only regret is that I didn’t indulge many years ago, when I could have been fashionable and pretty!"

Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network’s Assistant Arts Editor, writing about film, theater, food and drink, and travel, as well as contributing a column. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association’s Elliot Norton Awards Committee.

Comments

  • karari kue, 2010-11-11 01:58:41

    I’m incredibly disappointed by the writing of this piece. It is obviously not written by someone who is transgender. For one, the author is confused by the words "sex" and "gender." "Gender" pertains to identity whereas "sex" pertains to physical attributes. One can’t have physical gender attributes. Secondly, too much attention is given to this man. Had he been advocating for gay-reparative therapy, I highly doubt he would have been given such a lengthy piece, even though his argument is very much in line with those made by ex-gays. Only the last few paragraphs are given to trans women to respond and it’s done hastily, with little structure or analysis. So much for being an lgbt publication. Smells like cissexism.


  • Anonymous, 2010-11-11 03:02:58

    I hate close minded like this. Just because he didn’t have a good experience with his sex change doesn’t mean it isn’t for anyone Else. He blames the medical profession and now wants to make it illegal. Come on guy. Your mad at yourself and you want someone to blame for what YOU put yourself thru. To say that people who want it are wrong about it. Who the hell do you think you are guy. It sounds like you have a lot of confusion about your gender and sex orientation and want to blame it on the medical professionals whom did what you told them you were ready for.


  • Anonymous, 2010-11-11 14:16:56

    He admits the only reason he had a sex change was because of a tumultuous divorce and separation from his family. People who want to undergo a sex change DO go through mandatory counseling, obviously this crazy guy just wanted to get attention from his family. He says that before his sex change, women talking about their feelings was like hearing a foreign language! Then what was his motivation for getting the sex change in the first place!? He obviously felt like a man, acted like a man. There are others out there who do feel they don’t belong to the body they were born with, and THAT is the reason they choose to have a sex change. Not because of a divorce. Not to get attention! For him to protest against anyone ever getting a sex change because of his own mistake is straight up cowardly and very close-minded. I’m a lesbian, and this would be like me getting a divorce from a man and then trying to tell everyone else to never ever get married to a man, or trying to make it so no one could ever get married. Absolutely ridiculous! If I’m gay then why am I marrying a man? If I’m gay and married to a man, why would I blame my unhappiness on the institute of marriage?! If I had actually made a choice like that, the only person I can blame is myself. This man can only blame himself, these were his own choices, and he should not be trying to punish others for his own mistake. Deal with your own life and your own mistakes, and stop worrying about the rest of the world. We can think for ourselves!


  • kalina, 2010-11-12 20:43:00

    Perhaps he was dissatisfied with his transition because he’s too tall, too big-boned, and too manly looking.


  • Wimsy, 2010-11-14 09:17:23

    Why can’t he just shut the fuck up?


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