"Game" On :: What Is Dead May Never Die
It doesn’t look good for the crows of the Night’s Watch; Craster’s been sleeping with all his daughters and murdering his boys. Evidently, that’s OK with some, but Jon Snow’s not a fan. Of course, he’s a boy; he’s clearly biased about this. Sam is still trying to get into the pants of a Craster chick named Gilly - he’s so hard up he gives her a tiny... thing... that looks like a thimble made out of a horn. He says his mother gave it to him before he left home. Which, were I he, I’d treat as an insult. A sword? Cool. Maybe a wolf skin coat? Yeah, that’ll come in handy.
No, Son, here’s a thimble. No doubt that’ll come in handy at the Wall. You could fling it at the crumpkins and say, "Sew that, you bitches!"
That’s all I’ll say about the Night’s Watch at the moment; if the show holds true to the novel, it doesn’t get interesting until the third novel.
Meanwhile, back at Winterfell, it appears you can only order a canine wake-up call from the Front Desk, since Bran is awakened via direwolf. He then attempts to convince Maester Aemon that he’s a changeling, but Aemon, who still hasn’t seen the last scene of the first season (lazy jerk), insists that there’s no magic left in the world.
With that, we’re off to join Catelyn Stark, who waltzes into the "court" of would-be-King Renly, who really has no battles to fight so his "men" are whipping each other into a frenzy. That excites him, no doubt, because behind the flap of his own tent, the Knight of Flowers is whipping Renly into a frenzy on a nightly basis. But we do get to meet Lady Brienne, who does the first said whipping and isn’t nearly as unsightly as George R. R. Martin wrote her to be; she gets whipped into the personal service of Renly, which makes Mr. Flowery Knight a little jealous.
And so it’s over to House Greyjoy, where Theon is pretty pissed that he accidentally hit on his sister. It becomes clear that they were, in their youths, both fat little boys. As older, bigger, thinner little boys, now they’re to be sent a-conquering.
Think of House Greyjoy as the sewer rats of Westeros; while the five major houses fight to the death over the spiny throne in King’s Landing, Lord Greyjoy intends to raid fishing villages and pillage puny little castles for... whatever one finds in puny little castles. It’s of no matter; the only real consequence involved in this little drama is that Theon is undervalued in his family tree. It doesn’t bode well.
And when a big fan of the book says that, you can be pretty sure the shit is about to roll.